Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Back at it

I officially returned to work on August 20th, and H started daycare the week before. I've been holding off on my 'how things are going' post because, well, I'm not really sure. Being back at work feels weird and totally normal. I'm back at a job I haven't done for over two years, but it all came rushing back to me. I work long days (and nights), but then I've had stretches of days and days off which make me feel like I'm right back on maternity leave.

Well, let's see if we can't make sense of things, shall we?

The Good

I LOVE the daycare we decided to go with. The ladies who work there are ah-mazing. H seems to really love them, he seems happy when we walk into the building, and I don't worry about him when he's there at all. In fact, I feel like he's clearly getting more stimulation there than he gets from me at home and have actually wondered if I'm depriving him by keeping him home with me on my days off. They are always going for walks, working on art projects, and playing outside on the lovely patio playground they have.

I like having a reason to put on clean clothes and go out into the world. It's been really nice having non-baby related conversations and catching up with work friends.

Getting a break from the not-so-glamourous aspects of childcare has been wonderful. Sharing the duties for meals, naps, diaper changes, clothing changes, and bedtime with other people (James and daycare) has been such a welcome relief for me. And because I get a break from all this stuff, the time I spend with H has been a lot more fun and a lot less tedious. Playing and being together feels more special, and all the annoying things are less annoying because I don't have to do them as often.

The Bad

H has already had TWO colds and passed them on to James. Because of this everything I own is covered in snot 5 minutes after I take it out of the laundry pile and put it on.

There is a lot more co-ordination that needs to happen between James and myself, and I live in fear of the day one of us forgets whose turn it is to pick up H from daycare.

I no longer have a 'typical' day due to my all-over-the-place work schedule. I'm missing the routine, especially for H. While it's great that I have days off to spend with him, I also want to keep his days pretty similar so he knows what to expect.

Losing control of H's naps has been hard. He doesn't sleep that well at daycare and consequently we've had some rough nights. After being the one in charge for so long it's hard for me to give up that control.

All tired out after daycare
Being away from H all night is really hard, especially when he still wake up a lot and wants to nurse. And I hate not being there when he goes to bed. That said, I also hate the idea of working all day and not getting to see him at all (which is what happens for day shifts).

So in summary, I need to find a new job (I kid. Sort of). I guess you can say we're in transition now and I expect a lot more ups and downs while we figure this out. But for now, we're getting by and I'm looking forward to all the good ahead more than I'm wishing for the way things were. So I guess that's something.
Relaxing after a hard days work

1 comment:

theRachel said...

Hoping for less colds! A lovely post, as usual!