Sunday, January 06, 2013

I want to hold your hand

Well, my hopes that H would be walking independently by Christmas were not to be. That's not to say that he's not getting better. I've witnessed him walk across a room when we direct him to, and once or twice he's even chosen to do it himself. But his preferred method of getting around is to walk while holding onto someone's hand. Over the holidays, when there was always a grandparent nearby, he managed to do pretty well with this. But now that we're back home and it's just us parents, well, I feel like it's been a rough few days with him. Because, you guys, I’m just done with it. I don't mind if he isn't ready to walk, but when he collapses into a heap and wails just because I had to let go of his hand, well it's all I can do not to roll my eyes and yell 'come ON'.

I know that I shouldn't be too bothered. Walking around will make some things more difficult, and babies grow up so fast that I shouldn't be too worried about pre-toddlerhood lasting a few months longer. 

It's hard though. H is such a bright, inquisitive, funny boy. But none of that seems to translate into milestones. When measured by sitting up, crawling, walking, talking, he is always the slow one. The one who isn't quite there yet. And again, so what? We know he has issues with hearing and speech, we're addressing them and he will get there. He's making slow (very slow) progress with walking, but it's still progress. Still, it really hurts to feel like your child is always behind. And I worry that this will translate into the rest of his life. I guess watching his peers literally run away from him while he struggles to catch up hits me hard in that sore spot in my mama heart, and I get impatient for him stand up and run with them. That, or I'm just getting a hump in my back from being bent over all the time. Either way, I hope independent walking is coming soon.

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